Wednesday, April 30
It's weird how you can just kind of forget people. Sorry!
Anyway, today was my first day at Shoal Creek and it was terribly exciting! Lots of group therapy! All I learned was that I'm like the only kid in the world who doesn't do drugs, and that guys are faaaaaaar more interesting than gals. Buh-la.
Tuesday, April 29
Hey guys! I'm sooooo back it isn't even funny. Wait, yes it is! See..."HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yeah, so, I'm alright and everything and I'll be back at school in a few days and whatnot. You know, I can be a pretty stupid person, but this one just kinda tops the charts. Wow, lame. Really lame. But anywhoooo, I'm feeling fine and will be returning to my usual humdrum existence after a little therapy, etc. I hope I didn't have anyone too worried or anything. Sorry guys! I love the world! Wheeeeee!
P.S.
If you have any questions or whatever please feel free to ask me because I don't mind at all and it makes me feel loved! Yeah, don't be shy!
P.P.S.
Thanks to Holly for getting my password from me and deleting the old post and everything! Friends are great!
Monday, April 28
This is Holly, on behalf of Lucinda. She is fine. Luci is at Brackenridge and had a good night's sleep.
Sunday, April 27
Wow, guys, this is amazing. Time appears to have slowed to an intolerably dragging rate. Could this weekend be any longer? AND IT'S ONLY SUNDAY MORNING. So yeah, life is boring, blah blah blah, the usual. So boring, in fact, that I've decided to believe in God so that I may pray every night for the end of the world. Uh huh. Anywho, I had a lovely dream where I was getting married, and the guy (who remains a mystery) had this great plan of exactly how our wedding would be so I had to do absolutely nothing! It was fan-fucking-tastic. The end. And good night. Even though it's the day time. Hah! I've got you now!
Monday, April 21
Why my life is faaaar more ridiculous than yours...
After school today I was cheerfully welcomed by my mother's usual "grrr, I've got something to bitch about, you nasty children" face. And this is what she said:
1) "I can't believe you two turned out this way. I just can't believe it." (Um. I wonder what she'd do if I was actually a bad kid. And why was Nora included in that statement? Perfect Nora!!!)
2) "No one wished me Happy Easter yesterday!" (By the way, Nora did, and I only didn't because I don't recall her doing so to me.)
3) "Whoever took my clothes out of the dryer and left them on the floor can go fold them and put them away right now." (Last night I went to wash my clothes only to discover my mother's in the washing machine, which I proceeded to dry for her. Hours later I found that her clothes were still in the dryer, so I took them out and left them in the corner, like I always do, while I dried mine. Apparently the appropriate course of action would have been to fold and put the clothes away. At one in the morning. In the dark. As I was trying to be quiet and not wake my mom up. Uh huh.)
4) (After my refusal to put her clothes away) "Lucinda, either you can put those clothes away or you can leave and not come back until you know how to behave."
So...here I am at my dad's house. I'd like to note that on two previous occasions I've come here in an attempt to escape my mother's insanity. Both times she's quickly demanded that I return to her clutches. I can't imagine that this time will be any different. But if you'll hear no complaints from me if I don't have to live with mama dearest anymore.
Are you aware that it is now Monday? MONDAY!!! In honor of Monday, I present to you two lists.
Tonight was cool because:
1) Liss and Kate are my friends
2) Owen isn't (his own choice, dears) and because of it gets a nasty note when I kill myself. Hah. I hope that doesn't sound mean.
I so badly wish that:
1) I still cared about things that matter
2) I could speak with a modicum if intelligence
3) I actually enjoyed living
4) The World Explosion Committee blows the world up right now
Sunday, April 20
Oh, people are so ridiculous. Heh. I'm one to talk.
Friday, April 18
How could I have forgotten Calvin? (Look to the left.)
Nora bought a prom dress and it is, of course, gorgeous...on her, that is. I wish I were as pretty as she is.
Sofia made me happy today in French class because we sung stupid songs and made dirty jokes and clapped erasers. Hah!
Thursday, April 17
I'd rather be sad than incredibly bored. I'd rather cry than sit and stare. I'd rather feel emotional pain than nothing at all.
There are some people I'd really like to be friends with. But I'm not.
Wednesday, April 16
It's funny how when I say things like "I hate everyone and wish you would all die," people think I'm kidding. Hm.
Sunday, April 13
P.S.
I'm glad I have Nora to love me.
As we walked away from the bus, Nora said I had shitty friends.
Friday, April 11
So, I went to see "Catch Me If You Can" with Amber and Wesley and Bryan. I guess that was okay. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I really don't like people at all. Oh, I have nothing against them, I just want people to leave me alone. Of course, that's ridiculous because I would shoot myself if I was constantly left out. But you know. I just want life to end. Either mine or everyone's. Preferably everyone's. Oh, and I'm annoyed because I failed English.
Wednesday, April 9
Heh. I wish I was as cool as you are.
Wowzers. Straight ones at UIL. Too bad that isn't at all exciting.
People who write me are my heroes. (insert imitation coughing noises here...Arend...insert more imitation coughing noises)
Although, really, Arend was already my hero for a reason that I can't exactly remember. Whatever it was, I'm sure it was very heroic and involved him doing something so amazing that he would be your hero too, if I only knew what it was.
And Celeste is my hero because of something that has to do with yodeling.
And I think Liss is my hero because of another something that I also can't remember. I just know I recently said, "Liss is my hero."
Ok, so, I was trying to remember how the whole "Lliewhssynnduh Whoittzsssuhe" spelling of my name came around. I know it started in Mr Owens' class. (By the way, I miss him terribly) And I think it somehow ties into me being a pilgrim so that I was allowed to rename Mr Owens "Herr O," and me being reborn, and Lucidism (my religion.) But I can't remember why.
Conundrums like that, my friends, are the reason that I write everything down these days.
Speaking of conundrums, my geography paper is entitled "The Conscription Conundrum," which is not only incredibly lame, but also makes me want to shoot my self about seventeen times as much as I used to.
Tuesday, April 8
Okay, so, seriously, I have a question. Meaning that I want answers. Lots of them. Because this is an important question. Here it goes: why the hell does life suck so much? Oh, wait, it doesn't. Um, that was just a practice question. Don’t answer that one. Now, here goes the real one: why did I try and write "mutch" instead of "much" and spend a really long time staring at it because I couldn't figure out that was wrong??? Come on people, ponder this and answer away. I really need to know. My sanity depends on knowing this very one thing. Ah, life.
Sunday, April 6
My life is cool and you should love me because:
1) There is the best senile cat ever sitting on my lap.
2) I have the greatest story about last night but I'm not going to write it here because I want to actually tell it to people.
3) I don't have a lesson because I don't have a ride.
4) Our TV was broken but now it isn't.
5) I rode my bike yesterday
6) I stubbed my toe and the first thing out of my mouth was, "dear GOD is my stupidity that great?"
Friday, April 4
Maybe I am a pessimist, but I don't see any problem with that. I hate when I'm talking and people just interrupt me with absolutely no regard for the fact that I was in the middle of a sentence. And I hate it when people ignore me. And by the way, if you don't like me I probably already know and do my best to be as annoying as possible because if you want me to back off I want you to have to tell me. That's my philosophy. Most people can't take hints so I'll gladly pretend I'm one of them. Really. Learn to be honest. You aren't going to hurt my feelings, and if you do I probably deserved it. I hope I get struck by lightning. And the rest of you, too.
Wednesday, April 2
I'm obviously not good with pain because I can't really think of anything graceful to say...and the only way I can react is with anger. I just know that Mr Owens was the best teacher I've ever know, and probably ever will know. More than a teacher, of course. But I'm not even going to try and do his immense greatness justice with my feeble words. But I think we all loved him. And I know we'll all miss him. Blah blah blah. Don't cry. Everything fades with time.
Tuesday, April 1
Why I hate life:
1) Mr Owens isn't allowed to enjoy it anymore.
The end.
