Thursday, May 29
Well.
School's out. That's awesome. Holly and I went to see Holes. It was pretty good.
I dug my own hole when I got home. A small one. For
Wednesday, May 28
In loving memory of Mr Owens, the idol of the Posse...
Mr Owens' Shopping List:
-chacos
-logic
-gum
-body maximizing hair products, for that fluffy shine
-contacts
-eggs
-shirts with breast pockets
-soft bedroom light
-fish food
-new "roommate"
-blue slippers
-brown couch
-tomato pajamas
-chewable pens
-new jacket
-real wallpaper
-megaphone
-new stapler
-Tic Tacs
-turkey
-swiss cheese
-peanut butter
-a nap
-lowercase letters
-pink highlighters
-bigger backpack
-world peace
-dog biscuits
-sense of humor
-new pants
-graham crackers
-spot remover
-a state of nature
...from January 22, 2002
(If you wish to inquire as to the joke, event, etc… behind any item, feel free to do so.)
Tuesday, May 27
Happy (late) birthday Celly! She and I and Dulcey and Holly went to see Bruce Almighty yesterday. Fun stuff.
Monday was the day on which I found Celeste. Not the person, the bird. A bird my cat had injured. A baby bird. This happens fairly often, and they always die soon after I find them. I name them for the month I find them in, but I had a May a few years ago so decided on Celeste…since it was her birthday. Anyway, Celeste is doing surprisingly well. I feed her and play with her and she's the most beautiful thing ever. She likes to sit on my shoulder. She prefers cream of wheat to cat food. If she survives, I'm going to put something around her ankle before I let her go so that if I ever see her again I'll know her. And if she dies I'll cry. The world is so ridiculous.
Sunday, May 25
Yesterday I saw the most ridiculous movie ever. And when I say "ridiculous," I don't mean that it sucked, I mean that it was ridiculous. Anyway, it was The Matrix: Reloaded and I watched it with the two best guys in the world (and any guy who wasn't there that reads this should know that he, too, is one of the best guys in the world. It's like a three billion way tie for that place.) But those two those guys were...my hero and my sex god. Yes. Obviously. Anywho, then I got to go get ice cream with Nora since she is the queen of the world. We drove around forever and talked and had the usual sisterly bonding fun. Lala. Now I'm making plans. For sex. Hahaha. Whatever.
Saturday, May 24
This is a three day weekend. That, my friends, is super duper cool. And...only three more days of school!!! And they're half days!!! I'm wearing glasses right now. I bet I look pretty sexy. Except not. I probably look ridiculous. RIDICULOUS! Life is so ridiculous.
It is absolutely beautiful outside. I’m packing for my dad’s house right now. When I get there I will go play with my doggy...outside! Wheeee!
Thursday, May 22
Tomorrow is Friday. Then Tuesday, then Wednesday, then Thursday, then freedom. And who knows what next year will bring. I'm sort of considering changing schools. Don't freak out. It's just a whim. I'm really considering quitting band. Maybe I'll just take lessons and play in my spare time. But again, just considering. Anyway, finals are evil. More evil than your mom. Haha. That wasn't funny at all. I talked to the nicest lady in the world today. Her name is Helen and she made me cry. I think I love her. In a completely nonsexual way. Shut up.
This kid who thinks I'm a lesbian keeps asking me how many girls I've slept with. I think I wish I was a lesbian. Maybe when I open my eyes, the world will have disappeared, and it will all be okay.
Tuesday, May 20
Sometimes everything is just so fantastic that it's great even when it sucks. Lovely.
Although...the end of the year is near. I'll be losing things soon. Lots of things. Like Nora. Hm.
It was on a Tuesday that he walked in and maybe we all cried. Time to go. Time to stay. No one wants to want. He'll make you, if you let him. He'll take you away. He'll lock you up in a cage of candy and make you think you're happy. But...sometimes...that might be okay.
Friday, May 16
They say I'm unhealthy in more ways than one. Sometimes that makes me sad. Most times that makes me mad. How can I be sick if I feel fine? And why would I change if I like who I am?
(The line between a perfect child and a terror is awfully thin.)
Thursday, May 15
I guess I'm not a quitter, but I sure as hell am a liar.
Wednesday, May 14
I quit.
I'm not sure what makes mama dearest think that she can make me go to therapy, but it isn't true. She can call the fucking police and get them to lock me away for all I care. At least that way I'll be out of school. But she can't make me go. She can't make me participate. She can't make me talk to those fucked up freaks who can't control their anger and think that talking to someone for a minute and a half means you know them. People that think they get me when I say "I hate people." People that are so blind to actually believe that I'm talking about everyone in the world except them. And I hate them. And I hate sitting there, twiddling my thumbs, mumbling two sentences about my day after listening to each of them drone on for twenty minutes. And I hate anyone who thinks that there's anything wrong with me. I hate people who say I can't cope. I hate those who accuse me of having poor judgment. Well fuck. I'M STILL HERE, AREN'T I? I made it. I'm not gone yet. Who the hell are they to tell me there's something wrong? They said it themselves...it's my choice. It's no disease. It's Lucinda. And fuck them for thinking I want to change.
Good god, I wish that was true. I like how I'm a fool.
Tuesday, May 13
So, the world is looking pretty damn good right now. In fact, today was a good day! That's really cool! I feel like a little kid, but that's alright. Because I had a good day! Yesssssssss.
I love everyone. Right now. Forever. Or a little while, anyways. Life is so sad.
Sunday, May 11
Happy Mother's Day, to all the mothers in the world.
Kathryn, best thing ever. That was Nora's electric blue VW Eurovan you saw last night. And you were there seeing the same movie. Man. But by the way, the parent of someone at our school has the same Eurovan, so there are definitely two of them around here, since you asked.
Um, yeah, my day's been pretty boring. I keep having dreams that could really happen so I'm incredibly confused when I talk to people about whether or not we actually had conversations I remember. It's annoying and weird. And life is lame. But almost cool, since I didn't have a lesson today. And I appreciate my mother! Yup.
Saturday, May 10
Wuh-oh. It's Saturday. Like man, life is totally rockin' right now. Woooooo! Parrrrr-teh!!!!! The end.
...or is it?
Obviously not, since I'm still talking.
I went to the band banquet last night and it was mucho funo except when I was crying because I hate the world and the world hates me.
My dad and I went for a walk and it was mucho funo except when I was crying because I hate the world and the world hates me.
I'm going to go to sleep tonight and it will be mucho funo except when I start crying because I hate the world and the world hates me.
Dude, it is all so cool you have no idea. Except that people who think that I can benefit from therapy really don't know me very well.
I wish I could just be left alone.
I wish I wasn't lonely.
The (real) end.
Wednesday, May 7
Wow. Happy birthday Dulcey and Maurice! And Anna, happy late birthday. (It was on Saturday.)
Anyway, I'm wearing a dress to the band banquet and that makes me nervous because I don't like dresses. And school sucks. And it's only Wednesday. But oh well. Life will go on.
Holley (not posse Holly, different girl) gave me a flower in honor of my return to school. That was really cool. It made me happy.
People who send me cards (like Linz/Celly) are super cool. Yes. Definitely yes.
Kathryn rocks my world for having hair that smells like Austria. Lalalalovely.
Monday, May 5
I'm going to be at school tomorrow. How wonderful. Except that it isn't. Honestly, I don't miss anyone or anything...at all. I'd rather stay home forever. I really see myself as a high school dropout right now. Anyway, I just can't stand people and it makes me horribly sad to know that I'm just like them. Oh, and don't do drugs. They're bad. Or drink. Alcohol is bad, too. And don't lie either. At all. The end.
Saturday, May 3
Wooooooooooo! I'm hyyyyper! It's fun!!! Now, I should be back at school on Tuesday. The doc wants to see me on Monday again just to make sure I'm okay after a weekend and all that jazz. I'm definitely going to miss Shoal Creek. It's loads of fun! By the way, everyone at McCallum, I met a guy named Shannon there and he went to McCallum and he told me to tell everyone there hi, so, "Hi from Shannon!" The end. Time for bed. Except not. Wheeeeeeeeee!
